看這兩本書，也是機緣巧合。《台北爸爸，紐約媽媽》是在全民網上閱讀平台上第一本想看的書。至於《虎媽戰歌》，從沒想過自己會對這類型的書有興趣。
《虎媽戰歌》是一個在美國發生的事情，對我來說是一個夢。
早兩星期，讀報看到中國夢、美國夢的新聞。一星期前，傳媒大亨 Rupert Murdoch 提出離婚申請，大眾的焦點落在他的華裔妻子鄧文迪。這個故事，又令我記起兩年前在華盛頓郵報看過的 "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior" 文章。那時沒細心細閱，只是全世界矛頭直指向虎媽蔡美兒，批評她的育兒方式。
我好奇了，究竟是如何得到這樣的回響？
噢，原來是：
Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.
看來又着實在苛刻的。在 goodreads 看到讀者對有關書籍的評論，評分不低，不少讀者更是大讚。就這樣，我決定要看這本書。
一天在圖書館借到了這本書，一讀便停不下來。這本書不只是關於上幾點的，其實作者開宗明義便說了，只是奇怪地不少人的焦點沒放在這幾句。
"This is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. It’s also about Mozart and Mendelssohn, the piano and the violin, and how we made it to Carnegie Hall.
This was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones.
But instead, it’s about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how I was humbled by a thirteen-year-old."
在網上看了 Jeremy Paxman 訪問 Amy Chua，簡直是不知所謂，連書也沒看的話如何做訪問。
如果沒有仔細看蔡美兒的背景，真的不知她是生於美國的，因在書中，她多次強調自己中國人的身份，亦十分認同中國育兒的方式。
凡之，她的女兒不這樣認同。
“No, Mommy—you’re the only one who thinks so. No one in China thinks I’m Chinese. No one in America thinks I’m Chinese.”
蔡美兒究竟是怎樣的一個人？書中其中一例（她十分坦白，對讀者毫無掩飾），女兒給她生日咭，如她不滿意，她要女兒再寫。
I gave the card back to Lulu. “I don’t want this,” I said. “I want a better one—one that you’ve put some thought and effort into. I have a special box, where I keep all my cards from you and Sophia, and this one can’t go in there.”
奇怪地，我看到這並無感到不妥。寫生日咭送給人就是應多花心思，尤其是自己的媽媽，不可求其便算。蔡強調 "And it can’t be clichéd.”，這種態度，讓她在事業上、生活上也是成功的。
她是能人所不能的，她的成功在於她的勤。她會搭凌晨三時的飛機，從 New Haven 飛到加州講一堂課，然後在當天回家。"More than once, I got up at 3:00 A.M., flew to California and gave a lunch talk, then took the redeye home."
為了讓女兒拉好小提琴，她會在週末驅車來回四小時，就為了能給女兒一小時最好的教學。
2 hour drive to New York City
1 hour lesson with Miss Tanaka
2 hour drive back to New Haven Homework
當然，不少人對她的管教方式不表認同的，例如是雖她安排最好的老師給女兒，但女兒喜歡音樂的程度又怎樣？
看這本書，我反思了自己學習的路。"勤" 與 "練" 是何等重要，因為慵懶，也只能庸俗。
她對中西教育，有自己的看法。
What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you’re good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it’s math, piano, pitching, or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration, and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more.
The Chinese parenting approach is weakest when it comes to failure; it just doesn’t tolerate that possibility. The Chinese model turns on achieving success. That’s how the virtuous circle of confidence, hard work, and more success is generated.
她的兩個女兒，大女 Sophie 剛考進哈佛大學，開始她的大學歷程。她寫了兩年網誌，也談到家人。
在她的眼裡，媽媽並不可怕。
一天，一家人一起來到中國餐館，枱面吃剩的飯菜，蔡媽媽要全部打包，連 "just a puddle of oil" 也不放過，侍應也給了個鄙視的眼神，她則告訴侍應可煮 "4 dinners of fried rice out of that"。
到結帳時，蔡媽媽給了 30% 的服務費，她媚媚告訴女兒：
"Generosity is a virtue," she tells us. "I know because I was a waitress myself. I was also a cashier at McDonald’s. Did you know my parents lived without heat in Boston the very first winter they spent in America? They wore blankets around the house to keep warm because they couldn’t afford heat. You kids don’t know the meaning of hard work."
這樣的身教，讓我十分感動。
看到 Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother 尾段，我竟感動得哭了出來。
The Tiger, the living symbol of strength and power, generally inspires fear and respect.
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